July23
It took me a long time to realize I was often confusing behavior with responsibility. Behavior is how a child (adolescent, grownup, anyone) conducts themselves in a given situation. Do they follow rules, speak appropriately and politely, keep themselves under control? If it’s my kids, behaving means NOT TOUCHING EACH OTHER FOR FIVE FREAKIN’ MINUTES!!!!! Ahem.
Responsibility is accepting both the tasks and consequences of a job over time. Responsibility is self motivation and earned trust. What I’ve had to learn is that forcing my kids to “behave” with bribes or punishment is not the same thing as teaching “responsibility”.
Read the rest of this entry »
July14
I was talking with some other parents one day and we got onto the subject of “when we started to do our own laundry”. It was amusing to hear the answers range from “I did my own in High School because mom went back to work full time and it was that or go stinky” (me) to “I still don’t do my own” (lucky guy). One couple piped up that they knew a family that made their grade schoolers do their own laundry. I went home that very night and announced that my then-8 yr-old was going to start doing his.
Read the rest of this entry »
July12
I have been blessed with the opportunity to hang out with some amazing parents. This in itself is probably the best wisdom for any mom: Hang out with other Moms! In my case, a singular soundbite has founded much of my parenting thinking for the past several years. A friend at a table discussion shared a soundbite from a news article she’d recently read. Something along the lines of:
“We live in an era where parents believe their children are brilliant geniuses, but give them no responsibility.”
Read the rest of this entry »